I love to bake. It’s fun! (It also has its benefits. Eating. Sampling. Taste testing.) Spending time in the kitchen is fun to me. Unless it’s doing the dishes, in which case I will be the farthest one away from that overloaded sink full of peanut buttery spoons. (Does anyone else feel me on that peanut butter spoon thing? Ew!) I’ve loved to help Mama make cookies when I was little, and later decorate cakes for family events. Pies, cookies, cupcakes, ice cream sandwiches. Well, I guess the last one isn’t really baking per se, but I baked the cookies I used for the sandwiches, so it still counts. (Two chocolate chip cookies + ice cream + wrapped in plastic wrap, foil, and frozen = deliciousness)
(OH. BY THE WAY. IT’S SEPTEMBER PEOPLE!!!!!! Happy September! I love fall, so I am looking forward to this. sweatshirts, hot chocolate, doughnuts, apple cider, colorful leaves. Are you?! :D)
I’ve made many delicious things! Anddddd also many not delicious things. I’ve had a few flops. A few of which has damaged my baking reputation. But I am pleased to tell you my baking has since improved, therefore my reputation as a baker has been restored to its former glory.
But today I am not here to talk about the many successes I’ve had. Because really, what fun is that? It’s much more fun to laugh at ridiculous mistakes, so that is what this post is about. My baking mistakes. You can either sympathize with me or laugh at me. I will tell you though that I will be chuckling throughout the entire writing of this post, so if you want to laugh, there’s no need to feel badly about it!
Shall we continue? 😀
1. the snickerdoodle incident
One lovely afternoon I was hanging out with my beautiful friend for the day. We thought “Hey, we should bake snickerdoodles in the shape of a giant gingerbread man!” (A chocolate chip version of a giant gingerbread cookie man is shown above.) We pulled out my favorite recipe for snickerdoodles and set to work.
When it was time to put the baking soda in the bowl, I couldn’t find it. I went to the pantry and looked there, and then I rechecked everything just to be sure. No baking soda. I wasn’t sure if you could replace the soda with the baking powder or not. I couldn’t contact my wonderful baking-savvy mother, so what did we do? We Googled it.
Turns out–according to a group forum–that you can replace baking soda with baking powder, you just need to triple the amount and add more sugar to offset the bitterness. With that in mind, I read the recipe, misreading the two teaspoons for two tablespoons…times three. Yes. I added six tablespoons of baking powder into our cookies. *nervous chuckle* And then we added four cups of sugar (as opposed to three) to “offset the bitterness.” Let me tell you. This forum is wrong. Just do the recipe as you would normally do the recipe. Period. It will save you a bellyache due to the consumption of excessive baking powder and mocking (well, not mocking, but good humored laughing and then questions about your future as a baker) from your family. Although now it makes a good joke, so if you’d rather….
We pressed it into our gingerbread man cookie tray and sprinkled with cinnamon/sugar and stuck it in the oven. When we took it out, it had risen at least half an inch over the side. I don’t remember exactly how thick it was, but. O_O It was huge.
Needless to say, it took me months to regain the trust of my brother again, as far as baking went.
And you want to know what the best part was? When Mother Dearest came home she found the baking soda. It was in a huge box under the sink. Go figure.
2. the oatmeal cake incident
It was a bright lovely morning in our household. I was helping my mother out by drying and putting away the dishes she was washing. Not too long ago my mom had baked an oatmeal cake and was letting it cool on the countertop before we delved into its deliciousness. Now, I know that I wasn’t the one who baked the cake, but just wait, you’ll see where I goofed things up.
I took a glass custard cup from the drying rack and wiped it with a towel, and then I went to put it in the cupboard. The cupboard that happened to be right above the cooling oatmeal cake. I don’t remember what happened exactly, all I know is that I went to put the small glass cup on its rightful shelf when it slipped and fell down, crashing into the 9×13 pan and smashing into a zillion pieces…all over the oatmeal cake. And seeing how consuming glass isn’t exactly safe, we had to throw the whole cake out. Oops!
But I think we may have made something else to replace it, though I’m not exactly sure. It was a long time ago. But it’s nice to think that we didn’t lose everything when I broke the custard cup over the cake, and that we got something else out of it. But I really don’t know. All I know is that if I want to eat cake I better be careful when putting dishes away.
3. the cake incident
One summer evening we were invited over to a friends’ house for dinner and a campfire. We brought dessert! (I love dessert.) And I volunteered to bake and decorate two delicious cakes. EEEE! I was so excited. I spent two hours decorating the two cakes, and they turned out gorgeous. There they are, these two pictures I’ve pasted here.
See them? Are they not gorgeous? I was very please with how they turned out! Sometimes things don’t go the way I planned with cake decorating…I once made a turkey cake for thanksgiving and all the frosting fell off on our way to grandmother’s house. But, that is another flop for another time. Continuing on, as I was saying, I was very pleased with how they turned out. I had baked them, made the frosting, colored, piped…worked my little baker’s heart out, I did!
When it came time to go we covered them and drove over, and they made it without incident. We even enjoyed its deliciousness after dinner. We brought them out onto the picnic table and served them up and everyone got a nice sized piece to eat around the campfire.
You want to know where the flop is, right? Well did I mention that our friends have a big black lab? I was happily enjoying my cake around the campfire with my family and friends when my father called everyone’s attention to the picnic table a little distance away. And there, standing with its two front paws planted on bench, was that dog. And it was eating my cake.
I felt my eyes go wide and my jaw go slack as I watched the dog eat my cake. Her face was right in there too; she wasn’t holding back. She dove right in and helped herself. All that time I spent on the cake…and we didn’t even get to eat it all! I was mad. Now, it’s funny. But then, I was mad. My cake! My beautiful cake!
I know it’s only a cake and it’s not a big deal, but if you were an artist (or maybe you are) and you had just spent two hours drawing this really great picture of a…I don’t know, whatever you like to draw–we’ll just say a pencil. You had just finished drawing this really great picture of a pencil, it had wonderful detail and color–and then your dog came over and ate it. Ate your picture. How would you feel after that? It was only a picture. But it was your picture. That is how I felt. Until a few days later when I was finally able to laugh about it. I no longer hold any grudges against that dog.
The moral of this story: Put your cakes where dogs can’t get to them, or give them a piece before they feel the need to serve themselves.
Ta-da! And there you have it!
Three of my baking flops have now become public knowledge, all for you, my wonderful readers. 😀 I hope you enjoyed reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them, and that they made you laugh, or smile at memories of your own baking (or cooking!) flops. 🙂 If anyone has a funny baking or cooking flop they’d like to share–I’d love to hear! It would give me a sense of peace knowing that I’m not the only one in the world who adds 6 tablespoons of baking powder to a batch of cookies.